Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Has Halloween gotten too much?



This article below from Today's Parent has really gotten me thinking ~ it is something I have struggled with my entire career working with young children .... the fun of carrying on Halloween traditions in the program verses what is developmentally age appropriate for children specially as I have moved to embracing more of a 'child led' program because the reality is that Halloween rarely comes up in play or inquiry from the child it is typically the ADULT who initiates it. They have no concept of time to know October 31st is approaching, they have not true understanding of WHY we celebrate it and so forth and aside from being pleased about the idea of 'getting candy' they have no real interest in 'inquiry' about the WHY behind the customs.  

So just WHO are we actively celebrating Halloween FOR in a childcare setting? Is it meeting the children's needs, my needs or my perceived needs of what is expected of me from clients, fellow providers or society in general? 

I know as a result of this struggle over the years I have cut back a LOT on planning the cute little Halloween crafts and so forth leading UP to Halloween with the kiddies but admit that I am just not sure I am ready to totally 'give up' the tradition of getting dressed up and doing some trick or treating on the last day of program before Halloween occurs ... getting dressed up is so much FUN even if they do not understand the why behind it or care to inquire about it past that day ... so for me when it comes to Halloween rather than being a month worth of exploration like it was in my 'childcare theme days' it is now just a DAY celebration and than we move on and let it go!

When it comes to the 'decorations' I know with operating a home childcare my spouse and I have had to come to terms with what can be placed out 'ahead of Halloween' for decorations out of respect for those parents like Lauren in the article below who feel that Halloween has gotten just too far out of control on the creepy gore factor. So I request that he please stick to a few pleasant pumpkins and black cats and maybe a ghost or two in the tree out front leading up to Halloween verses what he has to wait until the day of Halloween to put out so that my charges are not petrified walking up to the house leading up to Halloween. 

On Halloween night though fair warning that we cater to the David's of the world. So if the weather is nice, the front yard transforms into a total Walking Dead meets Freddie Kruger set ... with the full out zombie graveyard with the fog and bones and fake blood ... with the trick or treating on the actual Halloween day I figure that is totally up to parental choice if they want to bring their child out to walk through the foggy front lawn of moaning and groaning graveyard creeps in order to knock on our door that has blood dripping zombie guts around it in order to ask for a trick or treat ... cause my spouse is totally like David and loves the 'fear factor' that Halloween promote. If you want the 'treat' bad enough you need to be willing to conquer your fears in order to get it and if not that's cool too just pass our house by for the one next door that has no decor to get passed. 

Is Halloween’s blood and gore appropriate for kids?

"Two parents debate whether or not Halloween should be a celebration of blood, fear and death.


“Yes” David Eddie, dad of three

For years, our Halloween decorations included a dummy with a pillowcase for a face wearing clothes stuffed with rags, sitting on a chair on our front porch. But the neighbourhood kids all got used to it, so one year my wife inserted herself into the clothes, tucked rags at her ankles and cuffs, and sat stock-still in the chair. When kids approached the door, the “dummy” came to life—and the poor trick-or-treaters almost jumped out of their skins in fear.

Ours is not the most elaborate Halloween display in the neighbourhood, but we do try to max out the creepy factor. We’ve had live rats crawling around the porch, severed hands, witches hanging from nooses and spooky sound effects. We’ve also supported our kids when they decided to dress up as serial killers, axe murderers and, one time, a doctor whose surgery had gone terribly wrong.

Bad parenting? Bad neighbouring? Bad karma? I can see how some might say so. But here’s my feeling: In a couple of months, kids will be celebrating a holiday that’s all about family, warmth and coziness, presided over by an apple-cheeked figure who snacks on milk and cookies. Halloween is the antidote to that. It’s about the other side, the dark side, the side of life we as parents would like to pretend doesn’t exist—but it does. It’s about going out into the night and confronting your fears, a little more each year. And what’s better than facing your fears and finding out they’re not as scary as you imagined? It’s like going on a roller coaster. First time: terrifying. Subsequent times: totally fun.

I also like the honesty of Halloween. Christmas teaches kids they’ll be given stuff they want as long as they’re “nice.” Halloween teaches them to go toward the things they fear and demand what they want. Of course there might be danger or obstacles in the path—and someone they had dismissed as a dummy might suddenly jump out of a chair to terrorize them.

But I ask you: Which is the better metaphor for life?

“No”
Lauren Ferranti-Ballem, mom of two

I hate Halloween. Always have.

I was the kid who nervously hung back while my friends made their fifth tear through the neighbourhood haunted house. Who preferred to observe from my well-lit foyer instead of running the streets with kids drunk on sugar and the power that darkness and a later curfew gave them.

I’ve grown into the parent who hustles her kids across the street and away from the moaning, strobe-lit, fog-shrouded spectacle, partly because it still freaks me out. To me, Halloween feels chaotic and out of control. Why would anyone seek that out? Why would we put children through it?

My kids, ages three and six, like knocking on doors for candy, so we do a polite tour of the side streets. I want them to feel safe in our neighbourhood, but I don’t see that in the way they tentatively creep up porch steps and shrink away from over-the-top displays.

I appreciate the creativity Halloween inspires—kids love to dress up, and they have hilarious ideas. I enjoy crunching through the leaves and sharing cups of mulled wine with other parents, and I feel nostalgic for the sound of jingling change in the UNICEF boxes we wore around our necks. Can’t we bring those back? Swap them for the rattling chains, rotting corpses and wailing soundtracks?

It’s not my imagination: It’s gotten worse. Halloween has mutated from the innocent white-sheet ghosts of my childhood to something gorier and more graphic. We’ve lost loved ones recently, so I’ve talked to my kids about death. But it doesn’t in any way resemble the cobwebbed tombstones and bloodied stumps that clutter front yards on our walk to school. I resent those stumps and the chumps who dig careful graves for them. I’m the one who has to wake up to my kids’ nightmares and offer weary reassurance that no, neither their dad nor I will suffer the same fate.

Life is scary enough. We don’t need a parade of pale and bloated severed limbs to remind us.

A version of this article appeared in our October 2015 issue with the headline “Is Halloween’s blood and gore appropriate for kids?” p. 112. "


So what's your thoughts? Are you with David and my spouse that Halloween has valuable lessons about conquering your fears in order to get what you want or are you with Lauren and feel that Halloween has gotten to be a little too much and we need to push society to 'scale it back' to being more developmentally appropriate for younger children? Or are you like some of the commenters on the original article and do you feel we should just rethink celebrating it at all? 

For me I have always had a love hate relationship with being 'scared' but Halloween has always been a holiday with fun memories in the long run  .... my spouse loves to watch scary movies that make me scream and cuddle closer at night. So no brainier that Halloween is totally his favorite holiday we have more Halloween home decor than we have Christmas if that is any indication to how much he loves this season! 

Have an amazing day!

Margaret
Live Well, Laugh Often, Love Much
Totallyawake4-life.com

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