This is so very very true and sometimes we can pay dearly for that one day of “enduring for sake and benefit of some socialization” with days afterward of increased pain and decreased coping cause we used up all the resilience and energy we had in one go!
Sometimes I think of chronic illness as waking up with, let’s say 5, energy chips and I have to be reflective of which activities I will do to make it through the day without running out of chips - and if something I am being asked to do is going to take 20 energy chips that means I am going to have to accept that for the next 3 days after I am likely gonna be useless for doing anything. And sometimes that’s ok one is willing to go into debt so to speak cause I really want to participate and other times something is offered to me that I really WANT to do but I have to decline because I already used up all my energy chips on something else and I am now in debt and I KNOW from past experience if I say yes and borrow any more energy chips from my tomorrows that my autoimmune system will start demanding significant interest on said debt in way of new symptoms to knock me back a peg!
It is a delicate balance and sometimes someone with chronic illnesses can get into that spiral of borrowing more and more chips from tomorrow because they hate having to miss out on things and hate that their disease controls so much of their life that they end up hitting rock bottom again with a nasty flare that sets them back that peg or two before remembering that unlike others they cannot gamble with their chips and hope that they will somehow win more of them and it will balance out in the end.
Just a little PSA that when someone says yes to one persons invite and the next day says no to another persons invite it’s often nothing to do with the INVITE and often much more to do with the timing and the same invitee just being out of energy chips to be able to say yes. Please don’t take it personally and KEEP inviting them out for the next times so that they can trust that it’s ok to say no to “this time” and do get into the spiral of borrowing energy chips from tomorrow out of FOMO in future.
We never know what someone else is going through which is why it’s important to act with empathy and kindness to all!
Live, Laugh, Love
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